Five Essential Steps To Prepare for Dating in Midlife

Emotions - Good or Bad?

info@drcarolschumacher.com (Carol Schumacher) — Fri, 11 Sep 2020 20:32:30 GMT

How are your emotions these days? Are they all over the place, or are you riding calm waters? Are you allowing them or suppressing them as no bandwidth or even time to deal with them?

We want to feel balanced, have fun, and enjoy life. We often think it's inconvenient to feel emotions; In reality, this can set us up for numbness and disconnect from self and others. Life is not predictable, and it does require attention to what is arising at the moment,

These days emotions seem more challenging to manage. I have to admit, some days I feel like I am on a roller coaster ride with mine. They can be deeply painful and seem insurmountable, for hours or days, then, by acknowledging them, being present with them, they tend to soften into something more bearable. And eventually, they pass.

I thought I had it all mastered, I envisioned a balanced life from now on, meditating, doing yoga, and looking inside, but then this is not how life is. Even if negative, deep emotions still must be felt and experienced, and with the ongoing pandemic, it's even more critical. Nothing ever stays the same. Accepting this challenge, acknowledging what is happening right now, is what provides relief.

Life means constant change. It's like flowing with a river. While we are at it, we always connect with what's around us, be it a pandemic, fires, our families, our network of friends, work, schools, neighborhoods, etc., always in exchange with them unconsciously and consciously. And we get stimulated or triggered by this.

Here are three steps to help you work through negative emotions:

1. Becoming aware of this is the first step to moving forward, especially when we feel paralyzed with overwhelm, fear, anxiety, or sadness. Sometimes, the emotions, like fear, grief, or sadness, arise from something deeper inside, a deeper connection to something that happened to us before or even to some of our ancestors. It doesn't matter.

2. Allowing and feeling that is the second step. There is the question however for how long should we do it? When you observe how a child healthily processes emotions, it will feel them deeply, cry about it but then move on. It's a process that usually is not repeated as it involves letting it go.

3 . What often happens to us is that we get re-triggered and re-triggered, which is not a healthy way of dealing with emotions. So once we are through feeling and acknowledging all the emotions, the grief, and sadness, around an event or a situation then it's time for the third step. The third step is to recondition our bodies and minds to happier, more elevated emotions, like love, joy, or gratitude. And this is where, meditation and yoga become essential tools to accomplishing this.

How are you feeling about these three steps? Do yo think they are helpful?

As for me, after an unusual night of restless sleep and working through some heavy emotions, I am off to meditate.

"Create Your Life in The Sweet Spot "

Much love,

Dr. Carol

Five Powerful Hacks for Good and Restful Sleep

Sat, 30 May 2020 02:52:16 GMT

Do we need more sleep? Is it that important?
The answer for almost everyone is a big Yes. What stands out for me is that not only a good night's sleep can change our outlook on life entirely, but we will also have so much more energy to better handle daily stressors.

Unfortunately, sleep is not valued highly in today's society. We believe we can get by on minimal sleep to maximize our wakeful activities, and the consequences are limited to a little sleepiness during the day. We are mistaken!

Sleep studies find that the adult human brain typically requires seven to eight hours of sleep a night to function optimally. Getting enough sleep and getting enough quality sleep is one of THE foundations for good health. By seven hours, I mean seven hours of sleep and not the total time spent in bed.

Did you know that the CDC reports that those who sleep less than 7 hours are more likely to report chronic conditions and are likely to be obese and physically inactive?

Sleep deprivation contributes to blood sugar dysregulation, obesity, and difficulty losing weight. People who miss sleep tend to eat more, particularly foods high in sugar, to make up for the lack of energy they experience. With sleep deprivation, the brain receives a signal that is not dissimilar to starvation. The brain then releases hormones that change your appetite. It releases a hormone called Ghrelin, which will make You want to eat more. At the same time, this signal suppresses a hormone called Leptin, which would give you a feeling of fullness, and now, you are even less satisfied after eating. As a double whammy, lack of sleep also decreases your motivation to do anything,e.g., exercise. We are eating more and exercising less.

Chronic under-sleeping also leads to the release of excessive cortisol, which causes more anxiety, causing more release of cortisol. Our Sympathetic nervous system, our fight or flight response, goes into action. This is a challenging negative feedback loop to escape from as it is a response to our genetic/ancestral programming. Sleep deprivation meant we had to be alert to fight the famous Saber-toothed tiger, which then triggers our brain to release more cortisol.

Nowadays, nine Million Americans take a prescription drug for sleep, which is unfortunately associated with higher mortality. Sleep aids do not cause actual sleep but rather renders us unconscious. Also, sleep deprivation has a similar detrimental effect on us as alcohol intoxication, which can lead to accidents, of which 20% relate to sleepiness.

I suspect all these numbers are higher, considering the 24/7 stressor added by the coronavirus pandemic.

Now, let's look at some of the benefits of good restful sleep; they are astonishing:

Individuals who get sufficient sleep learn new skills and knowledge better as our brain consolidates our day's experiences. Sleep improves the function of our immune system, and we are more likely to resist infections, including viral infections, and reduce the risk of cancer. Our bodies also repair and restore themselves during sleep. Toxins are eliminated, and tissue is repaired. Our parasympathetic nervous system, the branch of the autonomous nervous system responsible for the relaxation response, is restored with sleep, which explains why we are better able to navigate stressful times and events.

Ok, what to do? We need better sleep "hygiene" to optimize sleep.
You can find quick improvements by focusing on one of the following five areas alone:

1. Light Exposure Routine: Go to bed at about the same time every night and get up at about the same time each morning. Research shows that our body needs a predictable schedule. Go outside for a few minutes first thing in the morning to hardwire your circadian rhythm. During the day, get as much sunlight exposure as possible. Switch off most of the bright lights 2 h before sleep. Wear yellow-tinted glasses in the evening for TV, computer, or any screen time and stop at least 2 h before going to bed. Blue lights from those devices prevent the release of melatonin, a hormone that helps maintain our circadian rhythm.

2. Eating Schedule : Eat well and at the right hours during the day. Stick to a schedule whenever possible. Don't consume caffeine or too much sugar in the afternoon and have your last meal, a light one, no closer than three hours before your anticipated bedtime. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper. Avoid alcohol as a bedtime ritual as its sleep-inducing effects are short-lived. You will often find yourself waking up a few hours later and not being to go back to sleep

3. Bedroom Set Up : Make your bedroom conducive for sleep, the bedroom should be reserved for rest and intimacy. Keep your bedroom technology-free, with no TV or computer. Getting blackout shades or curtains is a great idea. Alternatively, wear a black eye mask, or put a dark-colored T-shirt over your forehead. Use white noise or earplugs if you are a light sleeper. Keep your bedroom temperature between 65-68 degrees Fahrenheit. Yes, that low! If that's too cold, wear a pair of socks.

4. Sleep Tracker Device : Wear one of the many out there (Fitbit, Oura ring, etc.). It provides you with data that is a good approximation of methods used for clinical sleep tests. It will tell you the total duration of sleep, and the proportion of Deep, Light, and REM sleep. It will show you how the phases of your sleep are easily corrupted with a variable wake-sleep schedule, anxiety, and alcohol, and noise and light during sleep.

5. Relaxation: Meditation as a consistent practice, as well as incorporating relaxing yoga poses before bed, has been shown to provide excellent benefits for restful sleep. Journaling, writing down all your troubling thoughts before bed or doing a gratitude practice, remembering or writing down e.g., three things you are grateful for today are also excellent relaxation-inducing practices preparing you for great sleep.

Most importantly, don't freak out when you find out you either can't fall asleep or wake up and can't go back to sleep. Instead of extensive tossing and turning, get out of bed. Keep the lights dim and go to another room. Write down troubling thoughts, prepare a hot water bottle to take back to bed, or read something until you are tired enough to sleep again.

Give it a couple of weeks, and you will see things will start shifting.

Tonite I wish you a beautiful night of restful and relaxing sleep!

Create Your Life in The Sweet Spot"

Much love,

Dr. Carol

The Benefits of Travel

Sat, 13 Jul 2019 18:47:20 GMT

Journeys for an Improved Mindset

The real beauty in journeying is the change in mindset.

Traveling has a fantastic way to clear cobwebs of the minds. Suddenly we see our lives with different eyes as we get away from our daily routines. We receive additional information from different angles and viewpoints. We see new paths and possibilities and maybe feel inspired for life again.

Getting out of the daily routine, for a couple of days, a couple of weeks are even better, and we can feel like we are reborn.

We now can see life through a different lens, with an expanded interpretation. What made sense before is now questioned, and we start to reevaluate our daily routines.

Having a chronic health condition and being on a restrictive diet, e.g., AIP or an Elimination diet, we can feel boxed in and limited. And despite feeling so much better mentally and physically, we sometimes feel like we are missing out, especially when being with others, family and friends. From the desserts, everybody is having and we won't or can't touch, to the foods we grew up with and would like to taste again. As human beings, we have a hard time with change.

However, change is unavoidable; it's inevitable for all of us, with or without a chronic health condition. Our opinions may change, our bodies transform, we age, the environment is modified, and our families and their dynamics evolve as well. When we stay open to change, we can see possibilities and beauty in all of that; we actually live more as we can now see more the nuances and facets of life.

We can still have a dessert but with a different composition, and this doesn't' really take away from the joy of being with the others. Also, we can discover new dishes, with fresh ingredients and flavors we otherwise would have missed. There is plenty of room for discovery and adventure. And not to forget, the many benefits of paying attention to a healthy diet while being on the road, from better digestion to less .

Traveling always puts all these things in perspective and leaves me with a sense of found adventure, something worth living for, and the feeling of having experienced the pure essence of being alive. I look at everything with a fresh set of eyes it seems.

Our time here on Earth is precious and limited. As for me, I am already on to planning my next trip, ready for another expansion of my mind to take home with me.

Food restrictions don't have to be limiting; we can see them as life-enhancing.

How are you feeling about traveling and its effects on you? Are you coming back with a changed attitude or mindset?

"Create Your Life in The Sweet Spot "

Much love,

Dr. Carol

Sweet Sugar or Sugar Blues?

Mon, 17 Jun 2019 20:11:50 GMT

Do you have a sweet tooth? Do you feel that without many sweet treats, something is missing from your life? The delicious chocolate cake, the warm croissants with jam, the fresh apple pie, the yummy gummy bears?

Have you ever crashed after having had some sweets? Or felt like you needed something sweet to keep going, but then the cravings really started? You just have to watch children at a party to see the drive for the taste of sugar.

Did you know that sugar could be as addictive as cocaine and that it hijacks your brain? Sugar stimulates the brain’s reward system called the mesolimbic dopamine system to release dopamine. This will make you feel good and make you want to do it again and again.

Did you know by eating sugar regularly you could develop a sugar tolerance, meaning you need more of it for the same effect? It’s a way for the dopamine reward system to prevent it from becoming overstimulated; dopamine receptors are down-regulated, meaning there will be less of them and you need to eat more sugar to get the same great feeling (similar to recreational drugs). The end of the road is often type 2 diabetes.

I used to ride this sweet sugar rollercoaster, got the sugar blues, even as a health coach. I thought I was ok, I wasn’t eating it often (gummy treats, chocolate), just when I felt a bit stressed and wanted to feel better.

But, I wanted more of it in shorter periods. Then I started feeling dizzy, tired and low energy after meals, I had to take naps, my skin broke out, and I felt depressed and irritable, not energized and happy, you get the picture.

If you have a similar experience, you could have blood sugar imbalances caused by too much sugar intake.

Reducing your sugar intake is one of the fastest ways to start healing, get rid of cravings, and curb inflammation. Your blood sugar will be more regulated, which helps with balancing your hormones and supports your immune system. If you need the sweetness, replace sugar with stevia or monkfruit sweetener.

Eliminating candies and reducing the amount of sugar (yes, it is possible to eat too much fruit) was one of my first steps after a diagnosis of Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, as stable blood sugar is paramount for healthy thyroid function.

Be particularly on the watch for sugar when eating out or when you buy processed foods, it is in places where you don’t expect it, e.g., like ketchup, seasonings or salad dressings.

"Create Your Life in The Sweet Spot"

Much love,

Dr. Carol

Your Path to Healing

Thu, 13 Jun 2019 19:35:59 GMT

Let’s be clear, proper nutrition is the foundation for excellent health but even more important are your thoughts and your emotional state. In the end, it’s mind over body.

If you have an old program running your life subconsciously, limiting thoughts, negative self-talk or unfinished business, e.g., like childhood trauma that has not healed, or past hurt you cannot forget or forgive, then healing is impossible.

All this information is within you, and your body remembers every time you are in a similar situation. Like in the past, your sympathetic stress response gets activated, and here you are, in fight or flight response, again, you don’t even know what happened, but you won’t be able to act on the better knowledge you have acquired since.

And there is a whole cascade of reactions happening in your body now that will nullify your great efforts with nutrition.

That’s why it is so essential to addressing altogether, body, mind, and soul when on a healing journey.

There are many paths to healing, and yours is yours alone, it will be different from anybody else. You and your body know best what needs to be addressed, it might be hidden from you right now, but if you dig a little deeper, it will be revealed. Now you can look at it, and address it.

Just moving forward can save the moment, but true healing and transformation only happen when these deeper-seated issues are addressed, the upcoming emotions acknowledged and processed. Then you finally can let go and create the space for the new and healed You.

"Create Your Life in The Sweet Spot"

Much love,

Dr. Carol

Chicken Soup and Bone Broth

Tue, 28 May 2019 21:13:14 GMT

Heal Your Gut

We all know chicken soup is good for the soul and speeds up healing but using bone broth instead of regular broth in cooking potentizes those health benefits for every part of your body, from brain to muscles to ligaments.

You make bone broth from simmering all that's not meat from an animal for a day and even longer. The slow cocking releases minerals like Calcium and Magnesium, 19 different amino acids, collagen (gelatin), glutamine, and many other beneficial nutrients into the broth.

Bone broth supports healthy digestion, heals the gut, reduces inflammation in joints and the whole body, promotes healthy bones, hair, and nails. These are all excellent reasons to incorporate it into your diet.

I was hesitant in the beginning. Coming from being a vegetarian to throwing a whole chicken in a pot can be daunting. But I needed to heal from a leaky gut and bring my Autoimmune disease (Hashimoto's) into remission, so it was a no brainer for me. I make sure though that the chicken comes from a good source, that it is organic, free range and ideally pasture raised.

Often I don't have time to prepare bone broth myself, so I keep a good quality store bought Organic Free Range Chicken Bone broth in my pantry, its better than the alternative of not using any.

Chicken Bone Broth

Ingredients:

1 Whole Organic Free Range Chicken
8 cups of water
2 Tbsp Raw Apple Cider Vinegar
1 Onion
2 Carrots
2 Stalks Celery

Put everything in a crock pot or slow cooker and set on medium/high for two h. Check to see if you can remove the meat from the chicken, and store it in the refrigerator. Place all that's left back into the pot and continue to simmer on low for another 12-24 h. Strain what's gone through a filter.
You can now use this bone broth by either just drinking it, or add the chicken from the refrigerator and add vegetables and herbs to prepare a soup.

For my chicken soup recipes, I like to go easy on the meat. My soups are usually dependent on what's currently in my fridge, and what taste I am craving. This one is one of my favorites:

Chicken Soup

Ingredients:

1 Liter Organic Chicken Bone Broth
1 Large Chicken Breast ( or whatever parts of the chicken you want to use)
2 Green Onions
1 Glove Garlic
3 Large Carrots
½ Bunch Celery
1 Sweet potato
1 Zucchini
1 Golden Beet (if you use regular beet your soup will look pink☺)
1 Tbsp Coconut Oil
1 Bunch Cilantro
1 Inch Ginger, grated
½ tsp Turmeric
1 tsp Salt
1 tsp Rosemary (fresh or dried)
Pepper to taste

Chop the meat and, the vegetables. Sautee green onions and garlic in Coconut oil for a couple of minutes, then add bone broth and chicken and bring back to heat. Then add ginger, carrots, sweet potato, beet, and celery. After a few minutes, add Zucchini, Cilantro, and spices.

"Create Your Life in The Sweet Spot"

Much love,

Dr. Carol

Toxic Relationships

Tue, 21 May 2019 22:32:43 GMT

What does this have to do with health you may ask?

Optimum health is holistic; it involves your body, mind, and soul.

Are you struggling with undesirable inflammation in your body? Take a good look at everything in your life that might trigger inflammation. Not only your food, your weight, your exercise regimen but your relationships also.

Toxic relationships can cause inflammation. The relationship doesn't need to be physically violent; it can be any relationship that's abusive or dysfunctional, it can be your boss, your so-called friend, or a relative.

If someone is emotionally, mentally, or financially abusing you, it's not acceptable and is detrimental to your health.

Is someone important to you calling you names, threatening, humiliating, or ignoring you, not being honest with you or completely controlling the money and decisions over it?

In toxic relationships like this, you walk on eggshells, and your sympathetic nervous system is on constant alert. Guess what, your body will direct its energy from supporting processes like digestion and healing to getting your brain and body ready for fight or flight. Such psychological stress causes undesirable systemic inflammation.

An inflammatory cascade is coming down on you. If chronically exposed, you will start experiencing health issues. An issue might start small, barely noticeable, but give it time, and it will become more significant.

Sometimes the best course of action is to end a relationship rather than keep hoping that it will get better. People who don't see a problem with their negative behavior won't change.

I went through this in my marriage, hoping for a change and feeling more and more miserable with time, with health issues coming in. In the end, I chose not to live like this any longer.

Love yourself and don't feel guilty to remove toxic people from your life. If you need help, get it, you are worth it! Then there will space for the right people in your life, the ones that love, respect, and appreciate you.

These days, if I am with people or in a place that makes me feel bad, I will observe and, if necessary, walk away. I won't wait for the person or the situation to change, I change. It can be straightforward.

"Create Your Life in The Sweet Spot"

much love,

Dr. Carol

Ps. Would you like to make more positive choices in your life? Would you like support in creating your healthiest, happiest life ever? Let’s talk!

Schedule a Complimentary Health Clarity Session with me today <HERE > and sign up for my newsletter <HERE > to get occasional updates.

How to Feel Better Now - The Essential Ingredient

Mon, 22 Apr 2019 19:34:55 GMT

Are you just starting on your health journey and wondering what the first step is? Or have you already started but feel stuck in the process, overwhelmed or unmotivated?

If you want to start feeling better right away, the first step could be to look at your belief system. Examine if you believe that you actually can attain good health or if you feel like it is beyond you. If it seems beyond you right now dig deeper and see if indeed you are ready to be healthy. If you have any doubts, bury them, because there is ALWAYS something we can do to improve health significantly. So “I CAN get healthy” should be a daily mantra to reinforce until you feel it happening

Mind empowerment pioneer Jose Silva once said, "90 percent of all illnesses are caused by the mind." Silva also believed that if the mind was the cause of most illnesses, the mind could also heal it.

If others (e.g., doctors) tell you that what you have is “the way it is” and your symptoms won’t get better, it is easy to resign yourself to them and then have to live with the disease, condition, pain, and dysfunction. It is what it is, and nothing can change it. Your body will tune into this belief. However, The truth is, that your body has incredible innate healing powers and knows how to get better, it just needs the right environment, and it will get healthier and thrive!

So, you have to be in the driver seat and believe the change, or in this case, good health is possible. Change won’t happen overnight, and for this new thinking pattern to stick, as you are rewiring your brain, you have to practice it.

Don’t say “I don’t want to have this illness, symptom or pain” but instead “I WANT to be healthy, I CAN live with joy, or my life CAN be pain-free.” Choose to adopt a healthy mindset by becoming aware of what you are thinking, give your belief a positive spin, and you are on the road.

I speak from my own experience. When diagnosed with thyroid disease my thought processes, and therefore much of my conscious life, started revolving around it. I was stuck, joyless, and at times depressed. Yes, illness is not fun. But the negativity hindered any healing. Once I realized that I began to believe that my body was designed to become as healthy as possible when given the change, I started feeling better, and my body responded in kind,

To summarize, your mind, and therefore your thoughts, play an integral role in healing since your mind is intimately connected with your body and will impact how it functions.

Focus on the joy a healthy body brings, as the alternative of ill health is not acceptable. In just a few seconds at the beginning of every day tell yourself “Yes, I CAN be healthy.” Your body will pick up on those positive thoughts, and your body biochemistry will start changing and becoming healthier. With this first simple step, you are building a strong foundation for achieving the healing and transformation you and your body desires.

Create Your Life in The Sweet Spot"

much love ,

Dr. Carol

Why Exercise is the Best Stress Buster - Five Steps for Getting Started

Fri, 01 Mar 2019 01:14:21 GMT

There are many different ways to deal with and release stress, but exercise is one of the fastest and most effective ways. Movement affects every part of your body and mind, in a very beneficial way.

Of course, it’s the last thing on your mind, it seems like too much effort, and life is already too complicated. However, please stay with me and read on.

Let’s talk about how it can help your mental and emotional wellbeing first.

Exercise will increase your level of emotional wellbeing by releasing endorphins, which create feelings of happiness and euphoria.

Studies have shown that it also helps with depression and anxiety, something most people are dealing with, when going through a significant life change. Exercise can be just as effective as taking an antidepressant for some people. It’s those feel-good chemicals released during exercise, that help you calm down and alleviate anxiety.

The relaxation effect of movement will also help with sleep issues. Instead of a sleeping pill or glass of wine before bed, this might be even more effective in helping you fall and stay asleep.

Exercise will boost your self-confidence, improve your positive self-image, and have you feeling and looking more attractive.

Now, physical aspects of exercising are just as valuable, so don't ignore them.

If you don’t use your body, you lose muscles, which can quickly progress to a health crisis. This is the last thing you would want at any point in your life.

Reduced muscle strength increases your risk for chronic disease and also accelerates aging. Maintaining your muscle mass also plays an essential role within your metabolic and hormone functions. It helps not only prevent excess weight gain, support weight loss, but can also help reduce your risk of heart disease and diabetes.

By now, I hope you understand why I think exercise is paramount, especially when you are already navigating rocky waters.

The following ideas will help you to develop a regular exercise routine and be able to maintain it.

1. Make it a Priority.

The first step is to decide that you will make working out a priority in your life. Start by looking at the bigger picture, seeing all the different aspects in your life it will improve, and even in a few weeks, months, or years you will be able to recognize them.

You will look and feel better, lose weight, become calmer, and more focused.

A great tip would be to find someone who can hold you accountable.

2. Choose the Right Exercise.

There are a lot of choices like yoga, swimming, walking, running, kickboxing, dancing, spinning, martial arts, and more that you could chose from.

Find an activity that fits your fitness level and your personality. Make sure you are interested in it and excited about it.

Sometimes it's better to alternate several types of exercises that are polar opposites, like yoga and walking. This creates a balance within you and allows you to fully experience the different benefits.

3. Establish Your WHY.

It’s important to become clear on WHY you want to exercise. It could be anything that's measurable to you, e.g., less anxiety, better sleep, or feeling more confident.

Remind yourself frequently of these goals.

Also, a good idea is to keep a record of how you are feeling before and after a workout. Check into your energy levels, mood, and health in general.

4. Schedule Your Exercise Time.

Don't ask, "Can I fit it in?" but ask, "Where can I fit it in?"

If you experience difficulties, start with baby steps. Take the stairs instead of taking the elevator, park further away from a store, and walk wherever you can. Then, block some time every day, even if it’s only 10 or 20 min, and be active with something you like.

You might also consider grabbing an exercise buddy for this, if you are not already enrolled in a group program. Always focus on your WHY, if you are about to talk yourself out of it.

5. Don't Give Up

Don't feel bad if you miss a few days. Sabotaging yourself defeats the purpose of you wanting to feel better and healthier. There will be times when you think you can’t possibly handle this additional item on your list, and you stop.

So, take a deep breath, regroup, and restart. Let go of what happened today, yesterday, or what will happen tomorrow, and start again. Nothing is lost, we are human, and these things happen, especially in times of upheaval.

The bottom line is, just do it, don’t wait, and believe in yourself.

Remember getting started with exercise is the perfect way to start feeling better about yourself, your situation, and your life in general.

Try a combination of different activities and see how your body can tolerate it. Then, always challenge yourself to do a little more. You will notice an increase in energy and stamina, better mood, health, and a newfound spark for life.

Create Your Life in The Sweet Spot"

much love ,

Dr. Carol

Five Essential Steps To Prepare for Dating in Midlife

Fri, 15 Jun 2018 05:16:17 GMT

You are not alone if you are starting to get back into the dating game in midlife, defined as the age between 40-65 years. At a time when the divorce rate seems to be going down for younger adults, the divorce rate, for example for adults aged 50 and older has roughly doubled since the 1990s.

Research indicates that many of these late divorcees have grown unsatisfied with their marriages, and are not willing to spend another minute miserable in an unhappy relationship. They realize they have more decades left to live and are now seeking opportunities to pursue their interests and independence for the rest of their lives.

But living alone should not necessarily be your end goal as it can have some downsides and lead to social isolation. This loneliness and isolation can even carry serious health risks and shorten life according to a decades-long study by the University College London. Your life after a divorce is not ever going to be the same, and you may want to have fun again or desire a new and exciting experience with a better-suited partner.

Then you go on a dating website, arrange your first meeting, and you realize that it’s been a long time that you went out to meet someone for the first time. And insecurities about you, how to dress and what to say will inevitably come up. However, there are a few steps you can take to help you successfully prepare for a first meeting so you can feel confident that you are doing it in a way that will have you feeling great, attract your best match and ensure you are having a good time.

1. Make sure your healing work is done. Do this necessary task unless to avoid repeating the same experience as the one you have left. Understand what drew you to your ex and what you subsequently learned. Release the pain and grief that you felt during your marriage and divorce so you can create space for something new. Destroy old love letters, get rid of stuff that makes you feel lonely, write about your feelings, even the angry and resentful ones, perhaps write a respectful letter to your ex, or have a last clarifying conversation if required. Let go of the past and accept that you are going to be in an in-between time for a bit, not knowing when a new partner will show up and that it’s perfect just the way it is.

2. Set a clear intention . Be clear on who you would like to attract into your life, what your life with this person would look like, all the different scenarios you can imagine, where you would want to live, what type of lifestyle, even looks and manner of the future partner can be critical. Inform your friends or support groups about what you want to create, who you want to attract, do a vision board or write it out. Be honest and don't hold back even if you think it's not possible. By setting clear intentions and envisioning and feeling it you will draw in and create the circumstances and opportunities that will allow you to bring in the right partner. Leave no doubt it will happen and live in that feeling of joy it creates

3. Be You . Don’t play games and be as authentic as possible. That doesn’t mean you should show up in your weekend clothes that have yard work dirt on them or skip on make up. Yes, dress for the occasion but don’t overdo it. It’s probably a good idea to overhaul your wardrobe and see what feels right for you now with your new status of being single. Wearing a dress if you are a woman may make you feel more feminine and attractive and a nice pair of pants and shirt, if you are a man, will give confidence. Speak your truth on issues that are dear to your heart even if you think it might be a turn off for the other person. Clear and honest communication is the only way to build a real partnership

4. Prepare your home. Set up your place in a way that is a reflection of who you are and that is inviting and welcoming to a new partner should you invite him or her in. Do a bit of Feng Shui, remove anything that reminds of sorrow, isolation or loneliness. Replace pictures and get new pictures or artwork that are symbolic of love, relationship, and joy. These objects will consistently remind you to stay in that positive feeling

5. Accept the process . Be accepting of the fact that most first dates are awkward, and that it may take a while and multiple dates until you find yourself on a good one. Don’t give up, but take breaks to regroup and ground again. Enjoy yourself during that time and do a lot of self-care. If you don’t have a date lined up, take yourself out on a date with yourself. Enjoy this time of adventure and new beginnings.

Dating can be a fun new thing, and it’s best to see it as such. Don’t take it too seriously; otherwise, it will be exhausting, and you will not be in the right energy to attract what you desire.

Be bold, be brave, have fun.

Create Your life in "The Sweet Spot"

Much love

Dr. Carol

Ps. Would you like to make more positive choices in your life? Would you want support in creating your healthiest, happiest life ever? If yes, then let’s talk!

Schedule a Complimentary Health Clarity Consultation with me today <HERE > and sign up for my newsletter <HERE > to get occasional updates.

Gratitude is Healing - How To Transform Your Life Through Gratitude

Wed, 30 May 2018 00:00:00 GMT

A glass filled halfway with water, would you say it’s half full or half empty?

If you picked half empty and are doing this habitually, it might be an indicator that you perceive the world as a complicated place, and you approach your life with negativity.

A negative outlook on life can contribute to anything from depression to heart disease to a lowered immune system function. It can affect your sleep, your weight, the quality of your relationships, your social life, and even your ability to hold a job. When you are going through a major transformation, e.g., a divorce, break up or are mourning the loss of a loved one it can be even more challenging to keep a positive outlook and stay healthy.

What can you do that is not overwhelming, is simple and is highly effective?

The practice is called Gratitude. It might help you upgrade your mindset, reduce your stress, help you cope with the mourning and releasing process, and boost your health and happiness at the same time.

According to Harvard Health, a gratitude practice helps you refocus on what you have instead of what you lack. By focusing on what's right in your life and expressing gratitude, you will learn and understand that even if things didn't turn out the way you intended, there are still beautiful things in your life to appreciate and be grateful for.

I experienced my daily gratitude practice as one of the most helpful and powerful tools when I was going through and recovering from a highly toxic marriage and divorce process.

The evidence is growing that gratitude is good for the brain and body. People who have a regular gratitude practice tend to experience more positive emotions like happiness, as well as stronger relationships and improved health.

So let’s get started:

1. Every morning when you wake up think of 3 things you’re grateful for . This habit is very powerful on days when you wake up groggy, unmotivated or depressed. Don’t forget the “pleasures” you can count on every day, e.g., food on the table, a beautiful home to live in, sun shining, etc. This exercise can, of course, be repeated in the evening before you fall asleep.

2. Keep a gratitude journal. Keep it close by and throughout the day take notes about what you are grateful for. Little things count as blessings, too.

3. Write a thank-you letter. Tell someone in writing how much you enjoy or appreciate their presence in your life. It could be someone who is unique to you, has given you something, or helped you in some way. On special occasions or holidays write something extra-special for someone who you appreciate.

4. Give a compliment to someone you just met. By connecting with others and helping them feel better, you not only build new relationships, but you will feel happier yourself. Focus on others’ needs and struggles and give them a helping hand.

5. Change what you see. If you notice someone or something that you perceive as negative, make it a practice to change it into something positive in your mind. Identify even the tiniest thing that is positive and appealing.

Maintaining a positive outlook takes practice, and the more you do it, the easier it gets. The payoff—a happier, healthier and more fulfilled life—is worth the effort.

"Create Your Life in The Sweet Spot"

much love,

Dr. Carol

Ps. Would you like to make more positive choices in your life? Would you want support in creating your healthiest, happiest life ever? If yes, then let’s talk!

Schedule a Complimentary Health Clarity Consultation with me today <HERE > and sign up for my newsletter <HERE > to get occasional updates.

Is Self-Care Overrated?

Thu, 17 May 2018 00:00:00 GMT

Are you happy with your relationships? Are you getting enough sleep? Are you able to finish everything on your daily schedule? Can you say NO? Do you have enough time to relax and enjoy life?

If you said NO to any of those questions, it is very likely that you and your body are experiencing emotional or physical stress.

Generally, our body knows very well how to regulate itself, but constant stress will have a negative impact on all of our bodily functions. We will develop poor digestion, sleep problems, and hormonal imbalances, leaving us feeling tired and overwhelmed.

Stress will also increase our anxiety, depression, and weight and accelerate our aging. We will not only look older but also think and feel much older than we are. Chronic stress will suppress our immune system and make us more susceptible to the cold, flu and other infections. The list goes on and on.

So why does stress have this substantial adverse impact on us and our bodies and what can we do about it? And why it is is a good idea to learn daily self-care habits that will interrupt and stop this negative cycle?

Let’s take as an example the effect stress has on our digestion and gut and, as a result, our general health. What goes on in our brain is connected to what happens in our gut, the relationship goes both ways. The brain manages our digestion and our immune system and vice versa our gut influences our emotional and physical well-being.

Why is it that we cannot digest food very well, even healthy food when we are emotionally upset about something? It’s because our brain will direct its attention first to fixing the perceived danger and activate our stress response system, the sympathetic nervous system. Our brain sees worry or stresses the same way as if there was an approaching, ferocious tiger that wanted to eat us. Among other things, it will trigger the release of stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol.

Cortisol inhibits digestion, so food is only partially digested. Now fewer nutrients are absorbed causing nutritional deficiencies. Not only that but too much Cortisol over an extended time will compromise the lining of the gut. The lining of the intestine is a single cell layer that separates us from the outside world. It is usually a tight barrier with tiny holes that will only allow specific substances through and keep bigger particles out.

If the intestinal lining becomes compromised, its holes are more prominent, and it loses its ability to distinguish between harmful and harmless substances, it gets permeable. Now undigested or only partially digested food particles and proteins like, e.g., gluten, harmful bacteria, and toxic waste products of our digestion can seep into the bloodstream.

This will lead to an immune reaction and the development of inflammatory conditions, cause food intolerances, and lead to the development of autoimmune disorders.

To properly digest and keep our body function optimally, we have to have the other arm of the autonomous nervous system, the parasympathetic nervous system, our relaxation response, activated. The parasympathetic is also called the rest or digest or the feed or breed mode, and I always associate it with the image of a purring cat. It should be the primary way we are operating from if we want to feel and be healthy.

Unfortunately, it’s the stress response that we operate from most of the time and it will eventually wear us out and lead to all the symptoms mentioned above if we don’t do anything to redirect it.

So what can we do? How can we interrupt this destructive cycle and start to regain our health?

Practicing Self-Care, developing a mindset and daily practices that will send our body into the relaxation mode.

Remember, our brain cannot distinguish between a perceived danger like the fear and worry of losing our job, having to deal with a toxic relationship or the real physical threat of someone pointing a gun at us. All trigger the same release of stress hormones.

A great way to start a daily practice to reset your mind and body to relaxation mode is a gratitude practice. Every morning (or evening), think about three things that you are grateful for and write them down.

Other examples are:

* Going for a walk in nature or a serene environment

* Getting a relaxing massage

* Taking a bath with Epsom Salt and a few drops of essential Lavender oil

* Having a fun night out with family and friends

* Taking deep belly breathes throughout the day

You get the idea.

It is essential to schedule those activities every day and not to ignore them. Try one or all of them as a first step and see how your life changes for the better.

Create Your Life in "The Sweet Spot"

much love,

Dr. Carol